Le sigh.

Why am I up this late and not tired? I should be tired. I want to sleep, but not really. I know I should sleep, even though I don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow. It’s 2:13 AM; sleeping is simply what’s done at this time by polite society.

I’m polite society, right?

Shouldn’t I sleep? I want to… do… stuff. Like watch a DVD or play a video game or read a book. But then I think about actually doing it and I’m like “Nah, I don’t really want to do that. I honestly have no desire for it.”

I should sleep. That would be a good thing, I think. I wouldn’t be suffering from this ennui. But I’m not too sure that I want to sleep. I could get in my car and go someplace, but gas is expensive to just fritter away and also there’s not actually a place for me to go here at 2:16 AM.

Then again, there might be a place to go here at 2:16 AM, but I bet its where the cool kids go and I don’t get invited to those places. I’m not on the guest list.

I got a message on my voicemail on my cell phone. I wish I knew who it was from or what it was about. You know how when you talk on a cell phone sometimes and the other person’s words cut in and out because of bad reception or microwaves or gnomes or whatever? It was like that. I think I heard maybe 3 complete words and the rest was grunting sounds and halting nonsense. It was so bad that I couldn’t even tell who it was. I hope it wasn’t important. I didn’t get any follow-up messages or anything, so I guess not.

I feel like I should have a real job. One with a real salary and real responsibilities and real humans that work there, not refugees from the glass sorting factory. Maybe I’m getting old or maybe its an effect of me graduating, but summer vacation is starting to feel wrong. I need a grad school or a real job.

It occurs to me that I haven’t used a single naughty word this entire post. I’m tempted to use one now, just because.

I don’t think I will.

Why is it that some people are all like “Naughty words are bad and only immature people say them” but then those same people who think this way also prevent the most immature people of all, children, from saying them. When children say naughty words these hypocrites are all like “Don’t say naughty words because its bad! That’s adult language and you’re not an adult.” Something about this… something about it just doesn’t seem right, you know? Is it adult language or immature language? The movies seem to think its adult language because they don’t let kids see movies that have naughty words in them.

I use naughty words. A lot. What does that make me?

I have no idea when to use “its” and when to use “it’s.” MS Word’s grammar check yells at me whenever I use one and makes me change it, but then it yells at me again and makes me change it back, and then it yells again and this goes on for some time. I think I knew once which one to use when, but now I don’t. I should look it up.

You know what’s really bad? I’m writing this and I’m not even drunk or high or anything. There really is no excuse for it.